Mama PC
I went to college in the fall of '78 - and while there, Bill and I were on again, off again. He proposed in October, and I quit college to come home and get married (not to mention the fact that hardly ever attended class and was about to be dropped!) I never thought of JC that fall. I was too busy, and he was out of sight, out of mind. That Christmas, back at home, I watched JC's Christmas ensemble perform a wonderful musical, "Specially for Shepherds"...and wished I was in his circle of friends.
In Feb of '79, I got word that JC's parents had felt that the leadership of our church was making mistakes and were going to quit. That didn't bother me. Next, I heard that JC's brother was going to quit the church, and was pulling all of his personal sound equipment out. This didn't bother me. Several days later, my father mentioned in our home living room that Pastor John was going to be leaving our church. I RAN to my room, threw myself on my bed and cried for hours. I never had anything grieve me so deeply than thinking that JC would not be a part of our church any more. I hardly had any contact with him personally on a weekly basis, we didn't talk of anything personal, I didn't even know if he cared about me at all, and I hardly ever spoke to him... but, it GRIEVED me for him to pull away from our church... I didn't tell anyone how I felt or what this did to me deep inside.
In March of '79, two of the associate pastors of our church called me into an office and asked me a very important question. They asked "Do you believe that God wants you and Bill together?". I had to honestly say "no". When I did, they said that Bill also didn't feel it was God's will. They also said that they were going to help us break up and gave me the rules and boundaries for how it would work best. So, this began a very dark time of my life.
Another Baby Girl on the way!
13 years ago
5 comments:
this is good stuff!! Man...how cute is this?!?!? If you haven't noticed by now, I'm a sucker for a good love story!
me too!
the imagery is fantastic!
all i need is some pictures of the 1977/78/79 pam and john to make the picture totally complete
Wow, I totally love getting to know YOU.. This is great, didn't know what I'd been missing when I'd met my "Auntie Pam" back in TX.
Just read all of the posts. So glad to get to before you come up to WA.. now I'll have some background on you. : )
I really wish I had more time to write my life on my blog.. yet too busy to at this time in life.. I'll just relish soaking in others' lives right now.. & be okay that I can't.. Hey! I'm living a beautiful new part of mine, that later on can be shared with others.. and most importantly just blessing my little son with my cuddles. After reading your first post about the roof & quilt.. I thought about how we wanted to buy a house, yet are in a rental house cause it was just best for now financially.. and have to not be upset when I see the occasional tiny spiders inside and Many in the laundry room.. and the tejano music the neighbors play (don't like the repetitive sounds.. learned this in TX.. never had that in my hometown : ) grin) (by the way, loved your example of the sound of this music on Jess' blog : ) made me smile & laugh)
so ya, being content.. it's amazing how I actually am more than I thought I could be.. life is GREAT having a sweet, helpful husband.. which has shown so much in Josh during my pregnancy & needing water & meals brought to the couch as I feed Keith.. wow I sit on the couch a whole lot. : ) eat many meals there, ha ha. the things I didn't picture of being a mom.. but it's so worth it.
Oh, ya and after reading the quilt part.. Keith didn't want to sit in his reclined seat next to me in the office as he was trying to fall asleep.. he wanted to be held.. I debated him learning another moment of falling asleep on his own.. and how it'd ruin my hopes inside of getting to finally type! on some blogs.. yet my motherly heart KNEW he wanted some cuddling and comfort and to be held.. so I gladly picked him up, wrapped him in his blanket.. very soft one.. walked & sang a lullaby. And he loved it. zzzz
they say not to do this all the time or you will train them to want it all the time.. yet occasionally is important, so important... this is a relationship not a set rigid thing. : )
Wow, everyone in life has a story.. that's deep.. wow, God knows them all. God's so vast. So... God.
My God. I'm His daughter. His. Now being a parent.. wow, how God wants us to belong to Him.. I can picture it more now. I want Keith to belong to me. God wants.. WANTS me. so sweet, God.
Thanks.
Love you, Pam.. see you soon.
That's sweet how your heart was grieved.. like your heart knew he was your meant companion.. that reminds me of when Josh visited me for the first time in WA, after we'd met for one day 2 1/2 years before..
after the awesome special fun week.. we were in the airport sitting at a table with a little bit to say bye before he flew back.. he was wanting to know what I thought about our time & us.. inside I knew things were flowing, the week was so special, the in-person was also so normal.. sparks in our eyes, ya, all that stuff & following what God had been showing me in the previous 1 1/2 years of talking on the phone, that he was the one for me.. yet it didn't come out, I guess it was so weird for me to actually be drawing closer to facing that we were heading toward possible marriage and stating out loud the further progression.. something.. well, I looked uncomfortable.. didn't pour & flow my thoughts.. this hurt Josh.. it pains me thinking of it.. well after our byes and he was walking down the airport hall past the security where I couldn't go.. he could've turned around.. yet didn't cause his heart was hurting.. and he was thinking of if he could endure watching/helping/waiting for me to be able to be more open.. he had already seen me this way on our conversations some.. I was a intro-thoughtful-deep thinking girl, not used to sharing much.. well I was in some ways yet not with big life events I guess.
sidetrack- my last friend -a guy- who liked me, was extremely not open.. that was exactly what bothered me.. amongst other things.. knew he wasn't for me..
now here I am doing that, yet not so severely.. God used it to make me so appreciative of how open Josh is.. and to know what I WANTED in a guy.. that had happened quite a few times with past guys.. it taught me what I did and didn't want..
anyways.. the whole way home from the airport I cried knowing that I hurt him.. and was praying for more confirmation from God if he was the one.. then God did through many songs on the radio and in my heart.. called Josh later that day, told him I KNEW.. He said he did too!!! What joy to have him feel this way too.. he proposed two months later. : ) I really like being married to Josh.. so many memories already in our marriage.. more to come, how exciting.
Looking forward to how it happened from here.
Love stories are awesome.. Naytron, you're so funny.
Your pic looks like your sitting there drinking some coffee or tea with wide eyes enjoying the love story.. goes perfect for this, ha ha.
Yes, fantastic imagery.
Pictures, ya!
Gonna feed my little boy now..
Lotsa love..
Oh ya, forgot to say it was a 3 hour drive home from the airport.. tears most of the way.
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