The IDES of January, February and March

Mama PC

Well, January 15 was the beginning of the end. February 15, was a totally depressing day. I just KNEW it would be KNOWN throughout the land (and in John's heart) that we should be together forever. Nope. So, the next few weeks went by uneventfully. I don't remember much. I'm sure we went to Denny's some nights. I'm sure we saw each other at church functions. It was a blur of depressing non-communicating, non-heart-to-heart, moonless and sunless days. I sure I made the best of things.

One Saturday in March, our church youth group were to pass out fliers for the next day's Sharrett Brothers Concert. I ended up in the same vehicle with John, with someone else driving, so I sat in the back seat beside him. Him on one side, and a teen girl with stinky armpits on the other. John tapped his fingers on his leg, and hummed pleasantly the whole time we were driving from parking lot to parking lot. After about two hours of the smell, the sounds and riding in a back seat, I was totally spent - I did not like doing what we were doing and I wanted to go home. I was irritable, tired, grumpy and hot. We finally finished, and John drove me home. No one was there, and we had a policy (in our family) about never having a guy and girl home alone, so John walked around back and sat by the pool with me. It was a lovely day and I should've been happy to have him there, enjoying the breeze and the sunshine. Nope. I was sick and tired of his noncommittal ways - his passivity. I was ready for this thing to be over. After about 15 minutes, John told me he was going to leave. Inwardly I was so glad. After he left, I went to my room, took out some notebook paper, and began planning my life WITHOUT John C. I was going to go back to college. I was going to get my own apartment. I was ready to quit waiting. Quit waiting for JC. It was over.

He told me later that he was feeling guilty about spending time with me without being able to make a commitment. He had been praying and fasting and seeking God for months, but never heard an answer. He was waiting for God to write it in the sky. But God would not do that.

He felt like it was wrong of him to "enjoy my company"..."enjoying being with" me but not be able to commit to me. So, he left that afternoon to go home and make a decision.

We had already made arrangements to eat at our friends' home that night, and we were supposed to bring the pizza. John drove to my house, picked me up, we drove to Pizza Hut, got the pizzas, then spent several hilarious hours with our friends. When we got back to my house late that night, it was raining very heavily. I had my family's garage door opener, and there was one bay of the garage not filled, so, we pulled his huge green bomb-of-a-car into the garage and sat with rear-end stuck out in the rain. A nice heavy rain. Within a few quiet moments, with me on the far side of the front seat, and he behind the steering wheel, he turned to me and said...

"If I had a ring, I'd ask you to marry me..."

I said, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A RING!"

Then, he quietly said, "Will you marry me?"

I knew I'd better respond quickly before he changed his mind.

"Yes! I'll marry you!" I said in a quiet but excited voice.

Then, he reached over and kissed me. Next, he said...

"Don't tell anyone".

So, that night, we kept our secret and I floated into my house wondering if I was in a dream.

The next day, I was floating on air... I did tell one friend the secret, but no one else knew.

That was at approximately midnight-thirty on MARCH 15, 1981!!!

So, the 15th of each of the first 3 months of that year were very significant!

The next Friday night, John and I went to his parents' home and told them of our engagement. They were NOT happy about it at all. They said it was nothing against me. They just knew it wasn't God's will for us.

John asked them what we could do to submit to them and what we could change. They had no comments and would not say anything else. It was a very strange and hard evening. After that, we told my parents and then the rest of the world we knew then.

We planned our wedding for May 30, the Memorial Day Weekend. He was teaching summer school, so this was the best time for him to take some days off. The wedding preparation days went quickly and we grew to love one another more and more. He still kept his distance, but I snuck a few kisses now and then. It grieved us both, but especially him, that his parents were not "for" the marriage. Here we were, both loving God so much, and trying to be honoring of them. But, they were just in a different world. We don't ever recommend others to go against their parents, but John was 29 years old, and I was 21. My parents blessed the union and our friends and church people also agreed. We had to go on. We wanted to go on. It was a type of individuation for John, who had always tried to please his parents and never go against anyone.

John was sick the whole week before the wedding. I think it was nerves. We had heard from his dad that his mom would not be attending the wedding. She had an excuse, but it broke his heart.

The day before the wedding, he helped me move my things into our new apartment, along side his...and we smiled at the thought that in less than a week we would return from our honeymoon to our own home. He had worked diligently on the music for our wedding.

Before we knew it, it was our wedding day! Bells in my heart rang loud and clear.
Here, we finally came to the day where I knew that I had caught him, and that he would be mine and I would be his forever after. We had a beautiful wedding ceremony, and had lots of friends and family all around us. We were both exhausted by the time the reception ended. We ran through the showers of rice (that ended up inside my undergarments) and ended up inside my dad's Cadillac. We had to step back out of the car, turn on the ac vents to let all the flour blow out (not into our faces) and wipe the Crisco off of the windshields before we could drive out. When we drove down the path away from the church, I found myself sitting way over on the passenger side with my right arm wedged against the door.

All of a sudden, I panicked! What was I DOING??? WHO WAS THIS OLD MAN I HAD JUST MARRIED? What have I done! Who WAS this man? Am I crazy!??? How could I just have gotten MARRIED???!!! The cans that were wired onto the back bumper helped camoflague my racing heart. What was I THINKING??? I didn't even KNOW this man!!!