Well, it seems I have so much going on in my mind that it's hard...no, difficult to come to any semblance of order in which to write it all down. But, then, I remember, that by writing, sometimes sense is made....and things are revealed... So, I shall write...
Time flies. It seems most of my life is taken up with getting up and going to work, then coming home. I'm tired all of the time. But, I've found, that as I present my needs to God, and write down what I'm going through, and write down a plan that He gives, and as I activate the plan, I start doing better.
The plan He gave last month (for the 32nd time) was to 1) eat more fresh veggies and fruits several times daily, 2) take a good stress-formula vitamin, 3) exercise 3 times a week, 4) cut back on stimulants like caffeine and sugar. And, as I have done these practical things, I've felt mucho better. Oh, and 5) go to sleep much earlier than the habit has become.
This doesn't seem very structured.... but, when talking mother to daughter, it's okay to wander around a bit.
Have I told you how much I love you and admire you? You have been such a joy in me and your dad's lives.
I remember when we first found out you were HERE inside me... I was so sick with excitement, I could hardly eat! And just now I remember one day, when you were about 17 months old...and I was driving down a country road, and I noticed a certain something-or-other along the drive...and before I had a chance to even say anything to you, you mentioned it to me! You were very mature as a baby. We were talking and communicating when you were quite young. Looking back, it seemed you and I were on the same wave-length a lot. We had/have a lot in common....even though you have a lot of your dad's qualities as well.
Dad and I would sing in the car, and we could hear you singing along at 11 months of age! In your car seat, in the backseat, we could hear your little baby voice SINGING ALONG! on the right notes!!! we smiled and then, i told Dad to sing the phrases, but to leave off the last word... and sure enough, you would sing with us...and then.....as we held our voices.... you would SING OUT THE RIGHT NOTE and SOUND! wow... we were impressed!
It's been quite a journey. We all have learned a lot as we participate in what is called FAMILY. Thank you for being patient with me and Dad. Thank you for speaking up as you've grown...and pressed us on to more God-likeness. Pressed us to be more communicative... Pressed us to express love and mercy. Pressed us gently to value the strengths in each other.
Do you remember the time in the Walmart parking lot, when you were about 3rd grade? You were out a bit in front of me, walking toward the store entrance and you happened to look to the side and saw a man verbally abusing a boy beside their car? How it crushed you! You RAN back to me, crying and grieving horribly. I knew then that you would be used majorly by God to reach out to and be a healing balm to hurting people... that God had given you a gift of mercy and that God would use you in people's lives.... people who are hurting... people who have been hurt.
I admire your search for God's heart. Your daily devotion. Your fresh look at His words and His world.
Have I ever told you that I have been impressed by your faithfulness to God's Word? You have actually inspired me to read the Bible more and to find the special nuggets, lines, truth words that you value so much. Thank you for being disciplined in that way. I don't know where that came from.... you were raised with such un-disciplined parents when you were young. Maybe you NEEDED such discipline that you actually found a way to make structure in your life. I am thankful for others in your life that helped you form habits and routines... for instance, the daily ritual at Lifestyle where you were required to write a Journal on each school day. I think that was a good thing, looking back. Haven't you been writing almost every day since then?
And I am thankful for the time you spent in Bible Quiz. It's amazing to me what impact that has on people! Memorizing the Word of God at an early age. WHAT LIFE SEEDS!!!
This letter is to you, my warrior baby... the one who wars for love, wars for healing, wars for justice, wars for truth....
I look forward to the next few years as we see how things unfold between "your man" and you. God is an All-Knowing One - and He has good things lined up for you both. I think you've found someone quite special.
Okay, I will close this short letter now. There are so many other things on my heart to say, but this is enough for now. One day, when I'm a Pammaw and you're a Mommy and I don't have to work quite so many hours... we can talk more face to face. I can't wait until those days....
Maybe I'll see you on I45 sometime....
I love you!!!
Dott's Marm
1 comment:
It was is I was a fly on a wall....reading your posts to all your children. It truly blessed me. You are real, and vulnerable, and raw and I love you! I love your whole fam, and I'm looking forward to having your eldest as my fellow sis too :)
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