Good night

Since our trip home from Thailand, even that very night, I found it hard to go to sleep. It felt to me as if when I'd relax, something terrible might happen. Maybe on the flight home, I pushed myself to stay awake a lot to take care of the rest of the group....because they all were falling asleep and missing their meals and flight attendant's offers of water, and they were all miserable (as was I). I forced myself to stay awake most of those 24 hours of airports/airplanes back to USA. But, I'm recognizing it tonight. Almost like a fear. A spirit of fear. I haven't totally realized it until now. I've found myself AFRAID to go to sleep! What a strange thing!

I hope to be able to go to sleep and truly sleep tonight. I've attempted to stay away from caffeine since this morning. I've not taken any naps. I've been quietly reading the past few hours.

Lord, please help me rest in You. Heal and hold me. Help me to rest in Your arms of peace. Don't let me continue to feel fear, because I know that fear is not of You. Help me to breathe out anxiety and to breathe in Your sweet sleep.

Selah, Pam.... Selah

together, at home and abroad...

It's been 3 months since I last blogged...and the past few weeks have been a blur.

We just got back (a week ago) from a mission trip to Thailand and I'm still finding myself trying to re-adjust. Going to the other side of the world causes one to stop and think about life the way it is. Why do we do what we do. What is important. Shouldn't we stop our busyness and spend time doing what is truly important?

While in Thailand, we spent a lot of time with family and with friends...fellowshipping and not worrying about work, not worrying about housework, not worrying about laundry, not worrying about meals.... We ate together 3 times a day and laughed a lot with one another. We taught others what we know. We were busy. John worked hard, but still seemed to be resting. We prayed for each other day in and day out. We basked in His love shared freely among His people...even though we didn't speak the same language. We enjoyed our children, each other. There wasn't a lot of time spent on the road. We stayed only a few miles from the church so most of our time was "together".

One day, when we are in our glorified bodies, we will be able to spend more quality time together like this... or, if we want to, we can listen carefully, and God will show us how to have more glorious times together on this earth in these earthen bodies. Bodies of dust.

Lord, take my earthen vessel - my jar of clay
Make me a minister in Your house
Your house in my house
Your house in my neighborhood
Your house in my town
Lord, somehow take what we have learned as we spent time in Thailand
and turn it around so that You will be glorified here in our town, in our church, in our home.

Your children on missions at home.

A missionary - one who is on a mission.

Lord, I am listening for the next assignment.

Open my ears with your gentle anointed swabs.

I will listen. I will obey.

Thank You Father, for what you will accomplish with the seeds we sowed in Thailand.
We have nothing except that it comes from Your Hand.
Blow the breath of Life on those seeds...
Blow the breath of Life on me

In this dry time
I call to You
and I know that You will answer

Touch my tears
Embrace my fears
Hold my heart
And never let me go

Take my jar
My empty bottle
My earthen vase
And fill me up and spill over onto those around me