Christmas Banquet 2006

Mama PC Well, another year has rolled around and another Christmas program is under our belts...

We've probably done greater than 20 Christmas Musicals together, John and I...

I look a little worse for wear... he always looks great! I think my man gets better lookin' every year!

We've done big huge musicals - with as many as 50 singers...with huge lofts, real live animals, billowing clouds, full-sized manger scenes, dry-ice smoke...to these more recent, much simpler mini-musicals with ensembles...

All I can say is that as we mature and learn to work together, and learn to not sweat the small stuff nor try to do the "other person's job" the work becomes more enjoyable... maybe not as "perfect" or "wowwing" as other productions, but just as effective spiritually for the participants, audience, as well as us...

John used to do things that I now do... and I used to try to do what he does better... we were both frustrated... Now, I do more administration...and he does more of designing and sculpturing what I dream of and produce...

The Lord is perfecting us in love...

Our first Christmas together (before we were married) John and I played "Topper and Ruth" in A Christmas Carol... the Scrooge story done at our church. We spent time together in rehearsal and grew to love each other more as we rehearsed our lines, and waltzed out onto the stage together as a couple... That was in 1980... I wish I had a picture of us back then...

But, now... 26 years later... we are still arm-in-arm and still waltzing through life...rehearsing lines, smiling face to face...working out plans and facing the world together...

Me and My Man

Nannaw and The Gingerbread House

Mama PC

Nannaw is 86 years old and had never built a house out of gingerbread before. Her eyes lit up when we talked about building them...and she seemed to enjoy it more than the younger adults.

When Christmas gets near, I have a game I play with my Nannaw where I'll sneak out at night and put some little trinket or toy on a fence post by her chicken pen....so that, early the next morning, as she comes out to let the chickens out, she'll find it. Once, I put a toy mouse. Another time, a plastic frog.. I haven't done any surprises like that for a while, so I'd better go find something soon... It's fun to hear her reply the next afternoon when we talk...

It's fun to bring excitement into a lonely lady's heart. You should try it sometime!

We never know how much time we have left with our loved ones... Spend as much time enjoying each other as you can... Even a cup of hot cocoa with a widow, or a small box of cookies brings smiles to those who are lonely. Take a little time today to send a note in the mail to someone who's "shut in"... or to email someone that rarely hears from you.... or drive by and drop a surprise gift on their front porch...

Little things are big things to people in need.

HANNAH'S GINGERBREAD CHURCH

Mama PC

Hannah and Meme made the Gingerbread Church. It was the biggest of the houses we made. They put the walls together and started to put the roof on, but then realized that they needed to put people in FIRST or it just wouldn't be right.

So, they put some gingerbread men inside. The preacher kept falling down... being slain in the spirit... They made "pews" out of graham crackers...

Churches... they are not buildings but groups of people... so that, even if there were not a building, there would still be the Church.... we are the Church... we are the Body of Christ.... we are the Bride... fitly joined together.....

Here's Hannah's gingerbread house church...

GINGERBREAD HOUSES

Mama PC

Lindsey's Birthday (24) and Gingerbread

Mama PC

Lindsey and Hannah and Meme have been wanting to make gingerbread houses this year.... so, for Lindsey's bday, we got together and made a few! It took hours of prep time for Meme, but when it was all said and done, we all had a great time. Lindsey's friend Caren came and made the most perfect little house. Brian and Lindsey both made houses...but, Lindsey's beautiful, colorful, entertaining house fell flat with all the weight of the icing and candies... so, she ended up transferring her porch over to Brian's stable house. Hannah and Meme made the church, complete with windows, steeple and manger scene in the front. Janice made a house that would not fall, and Nannaw and I joined together to make the most colorful one. Oh, and Jeremiah and Aubri put together a very nice house, but because they added so many decorations, cookies and candies too quickly, the whole thing fell within minutes... there must be a lesson here...

It's good to have family close-by. None of us had ever made gingerbread houses before... and none of us think we will do it again...

But, at least if one day my grandkids ask me to make them with them, I'll know a bit more about the sacrifice.

Building a house and a home take time, wisdom and Godly endurance. Start with a good foundation, and it won't fall. Make sure the glue that keeps the house together is given enough time to solidify. Add love and it will keep the house secure. Place candies and gumdrops and licorice sticks that will keep the place exciting. Build your house with someone you love and that loves you. Sprinkle with smiles and dust with love and your house will last a lifetime.

My Man and Me

Mama PC

Well. What can I say. I love this man. More and more each day.

Yes, at times I get frustrated with him, or impatient with his ways... but, when I settle down and take a deeper look, the problem is most-times with me.

He is always kind toward me. Always tender. Always sweet. He's never made fun of me nor spoken disrespectfully to me. Yes, he's been angry with me before, but most times the anger was provoked. Once riled up, it takes him a while to simmer down, but even in his anger, he's careful how he treats me.

My heart knew that he was a man that could be trusted. I had seen him for many years before we married...watched him in the ways he handled himself, others, and situations. He was a constant type of guy. He was kind. He was gentle. He was a true friend. And he always strived to do the best he could with what he had. He wanted to make sure everything made sense and lined up with God's word. These things were what drew me to him.

I knew I'd be safe with John. My heart would be safe. And it has been. And it is. And it will be.

LINDEN TREE BY FLOWING BROOK

Mama PC

Lindsey is a blessing to me... she's my sweetest eldest dott...

intimacy with God

Mama PC

What is God doing?

If when we're walking in intimacy with God, we go through PAIN.. Luis Janeiro states that this, the time when we feel so much pain, is when God is sharing His heart with his friend.

God HURTS for his children, for the loss of his friends and his children. He longs for them to be reconciled to himself - to be raised up - to live!

New Pics

Mama PC

FEAST OF TABERNACLES CELEBRATED WITH MY TRIBE 10/07/06

Mama PC

Some of my favorite people...

OLD FRIENDS IS BEST

Mama PC

The Bellons knew us before we were married. And we've known them since they were very young indeed. So we've seen a lot of water go under the bridge. Sometimes we've seen water go OVER the bridge... yet we are still friends...and try to see each other at least every other year or so.

It's good to have people in your life who knew you back when...

CLOUDCROFT NEW MEXICO TRIP

Mama PC

Well, we just got back from our trip as a family to New Mexico! We stopped on the first night at a KOA Kampground in Abilene and stayed in a two-bedroom cabin. The first pics are at that Kabin. Then, we drove on Thursday, Aug 31, to Cloudcroft. We had a lot of fun there and spent some good times together as a Crouse Family of Five. We liked that cabin so much, we're talking about going back some day - but next time, taking more people with us and staying longer!

Wanna go?

We have some old friends that met us in Cloudcroft on Friday, Sept 01. We've known them since the mid-seventies when we were all young! We met in Wichita Falls, Texas. Now, their kids are grown up and two of them married! We've had lots of fun with them over the years in Ruidoso, New Mexico, where they live.

First Year of Marriage

Mama PC

The first year we were married went very quickly. We stayed very busy working our jobs and at the church doing music. I was a secretary and co-director of a large child care center there at the church. John taught junior high classes at the private school. We both made approximately $1000 month - together... and were able to pay the rent and utilities along with buying approximately $50 worth of groceries for two weeks' time. Rent at that time for a 2 bedroom apartment was about $450/month. My car payment was $177/month for a '79 Honda Civic. This was in 1981.

We had a few more bills, but only a few. I do remember one of the first times we went shopping on a Saturday morning, that I wanted to stop at the Dairy Queen and get a coke...but John questioned me about it...saying we couldn't expect to stop and get a coke every time we went to the store... well, this was a tradition my mom and I had...so, we ended up a bit at odds about it. I think it was a bigger thing to me than to him. So, early on, I learned or chose to worry about spending too much...cause I was sensitive to John's tight-wadded-tendencies... We had enough money to pay our bills... but not much more... we never could save anything... so, he felt stressed that some day we may need more. Plus, it's wise to have an emergency fund. We did not have insurance at the time, but thankfully, after a few months, were able to get health insurance, but, of course, that added to the expenses. I'm babbling on...

Over the years, we had silent struggles about finances. I would want to spend. He would not want to spend... even though if I told him we needed something, he would go right out and buy the best! It was like HE was battling about it inside his own mind. He grew up in poverty. I grew up with everything I ever needed...just not extravagant. He grew up eating only popcorn for supper because that's all they had..and his family had to move because the bills weren't paid and they were evicted. He took on a great deal of responsibility as a young child, knowing that there was not enough in the home... and carried the worry with him into adult life. Thankfully he is now free of it... and walks in liberty!

I was thinking today of little Johnny Crouse, 5th grader, who had a PAPER ROUTE in Lubbock, Texas - back in 1960!!! He got up each morning early and rolled and wrapped papers and delivered them from a bicycle!!! He got the award of Paper Boy of the Year for that Newspaper, he said. So cute. You shouldda seen him. I'll have to find a pic of him... He was tiny! Short, little, black thick glasses. Blonde hair, parted on the side. High-waisted pants, not jeans. (He never wore a pair of jeans til after we were married and he was 30 years old in 1981!)

Anyway, today I started to review his past, and our past in regard to financial matters, and realized that it's a miracle we have come to the place of healing that we're in now as a couple. And as individuals.

This topic could go on and on... but, just know, that God is big enough to take care of the financial issues...as you give them to Him... and as you surrender your expectations (positive or negative) to Him... and allow Him to guide and provide.

Ok - more another time... and forgive the haphazardness of this post...

MY TRIBE FAMILY

Mama PC

Some Tribe Pics

Mama PC

my TRIBE

Mama PC

MY TRIBE

THE WEDDING - May 30, 1981

Mama PC

Well, I almost forgot to tell THIS part of the story.

My sisters had just married within the prior 18 months, so I wanted to make sure and not break the bank of my parents for my wedding. I found all kinds of used and broken things, repaired them, painted them...and picked roses from a neighbor's garden to decorate the platform. My PawPaw helped me to resolder a rickety candelabra set, we painted them white and wahlaa.... My mother altered my sister's wedding gown, and made a veil. John organized all the music, arranging, rehearsing and writing. I made silk flowers and arranged my corsage, along with baskets of flowers for my attendants. Oh, and my mother and grandmother and I made the wedding cakes the week before, then the day before, we decorated for hours! Everything was done very inexpensively and nicely. Simple, but it worked.

I don't remember much of the wedding rehearsal the night before. I do remember that I was glad John was no longer ill.

The morning of our wedding, I awoke with the realization that I hadn't bought a ring for my groom! (I had originally decided that this wasn't necessary, and John didn't seem to mind... but when it came down to it, I felt like it was important) So, I rushed to the mall, picked out a nice one, and took the claim ticket to a friend, for her to pick up when they were finished sizing it.

I got back home and my whole house was full of company. I could not even get into my own bathroom to get ready for my OWN WEDDING!

Finally, around 3:30 or so, all the relatives left, so I was able to spend some time alone, preparing for my wedding... our wedding. It felt strange doing everything for the last time in my parents' home, not knowing what to expect when I would become Mrs. John J.Crouse.

I remembered that a friend told me to focus on each moment and try to remember each thing that occurred, and I tried as best I could to do so. Time flew by.

John did an excellent job arranging the wedding music. He wrote several songs. We recorded them the week prior, and the whole wedding party, which were positioned on the floor were to move to the upper platform, facing out toward the audience as the music played. Between phrases of the song, the attendant would quote into a specially placed microphone a verse from I Corinthians 13. It was very well organized. The only problem was, that the sound man made a boo boo...and somehow rewound the cassette tape where the performance song was to be played from too far back...and what happened was like this....

The song started - with a lively introduction that had light keyboards and percussion and bass.....

"It takes God's love to be patient and kind...."

the music kinda did a "doodle-a-doo, da dooh, da dooh dooo.....not words, but instrumentally

and then all of a sudden, right out over the house speakers came one of the voices during the recording saying......

"WHAT ABOUT THE AIRCONDITIONER?!?!?!"

During the recordings, we started and stopped, and all of the attempts were STILL ON THE MASTER COPY and it ended up that DURING OUR WEDDING A DEFECTIVE ATTEMPT GRACED THE WHOLE AUDIENCE!!!!!!!!! It was a horrible thing to experience........ but, at that time, John and I were facing each other and we did just that.... we kept facing one another and smiling at one another. Never said a word. The minister ( my father ) finally left the stage and walked all the way back, up stairs, into the balcony and into the sound booth where he found the epitome of that short little stocky guy on The Munsters leaning against the sound booth wall CRYING.... anyway, somehow Dad got the tape back to where it should be.... and it started back up.... and we acted like nothing happened. What else could we do???

It was a long pause.

It was a lesson. A life lesson.

Life is not perfect. So, why should we have perfect weddings? It just prepared us in a very hard way to just go ahead and go with the flow. Learn what we can, make the best of what we have to work with.

We did learn to never have more than one copy of a song on a recording if ever using a sound track or recording for a wedding or other type of performance again.

I sang a song to John.... let me see if I can remember the words. I had chosen it from a collection of wedding songs... well, at this moment, I can't remember the song or words... so I'll have to enter it another time.

John wrote a song for me and sang it to me for the first time.

" I could tell you that I LOVE you....
That I'm always thinking OF you..
I could say that I adORE you....
All my life I've waited FOR you...

I could tell you of the dreams I've had
of building a life together
All the warm and rich and tender things we'll share...

But for all of this we would not know
That what we have will last...
Through unexpected sorrow
And winter's chilly blast
Warm feelings come and go
Life brings changes...
Things we cannot know....

It takes more than emotion
to build a life-time of devotion

It takes God's love
In our hearts....


Then, it went into the I Corinthians 13 song... that I referred to earlier.


Oh, John's reminding me of the song I sang to him...

"You are lovely in my eyes,
I love you and adore
...But my heart determines this:
I must love God more.
Though I love you oh so well,
I must love God more...

I'll love you where you're strongest
Your strength can help me stand
I'll love you where you're weakest
There I'll care
I'll help you there
and give your heart
a helping hand....

We can only be fulfilled
When we're filled with Him
For God alone can light our way
When the flame grows dim
For God is light and God is love
When the flame grows dim...

Our love may be deficient
Each to meet the other's need
We must borrow from God's plenty
For God is love
God is love, yes
God is love indeed.

HONEY MOON

Mama PC


We had the most interesting and wonderful honey-of-a- moon for the rest of our 25 years.... amen...

After we found some peanut butter crackers and cokes in Lawton Oklahoma, we began our nights and days together, enjoying one another and respecting our differences.... one day at a time.

Marriage is a commitment. I committed, he committed, God committed, we committed... Very interesting relationship marriage is.

Yes it's wonderful... and sometimes it's horrible... There are just so many things to work out... But, as I mature, I've realized that the not so good times are really times when I have a choice. To keep loving. To depend on God's love. He loves us and just wants what's best. And, as I lay down my desires, my demands, my dreams, my expectations.... and serve my man, the LORD rewards me gloriously.

Me and Papa JC are on our way now to a week-long trip where we'll enjoy each other and celebrate what God has given us and look forward to what next he will unveil.


Sat p.m. - flight to Seattle
Sun a.m.- train to Vancouver
Tues a.m. - ferry to Victoria
Thurs a.m. - ship to Seattle
Sat p.m. - flight home

Yahoo!!!

We love you all....

and the Honey Moon Continues...............

The IDES of January, February and March

Mama PC

Well, January 15 was the beginning of the end. February 15, was a totally depressing day. I just KNEW it would be KNOWN throughout the land (and in John's heart) that we should be together forever. Nope. So, the next few weeks went by uneventfully. I don't remember much. I'm sure we went to Denny's some nights. I'm sure we saw each other at church functions. It was a blur of depressing non-communicating, non-heart-to-heart, moonless and sunless days. I sure I made the best of things.

One Saturday in March, our church youth group were to pass out fliers for the next day's Sharrett Brothers Concert. I ended up in the same vehicle with John, with someone else driving, so I sat in the back seat beside him. Him on one side, and a teen girl with stinky armpits on the other. John tapped his fingers on his leg, and hummed pleasantly the whole time we were driving from parking lot to parking lot. After about two hours of the smell, the sounds and riding in a back seat, I was totally spent - I did not like doing what we were doing and I wanted to go home. I was irritable, tired, grumpy and hot. We finally finished, and John drove me home. No one was there, and we had a policy (in our family) about never having a guy and girl home alone, so John walked around back and sat by the pool with me. It was a lovely day and I should've been happy to have him there, enjoying the breeze and the sunshine. Nope. I was sick and tired of his noncommittal ways - his passivity. I was ready for this thing to be over. After about 15 minutes, John told me he was going to leave. Inwardly I was so glad. After he left, I went to my room, took out some notebook paper, and began planning my life WITHOUT John C. I was going to go back to college. I was going to get my own apartment. I was ready to quit waiting. Quit waiting for JC. It was over.

He told me later that he was feeling guilty about spending time with me without being able to make a commitment. He had been praying and fasting and seeking God for months, but never heard an answer. He was waiting for God to write it in the sky. But God would not do that.

He felt like it was wrong of him to "enjoy my company"..."enjoying being with" me but not be able to commit to me. So, he left that afternoon to go home and make a decision.

We had already made arrangements to eat at our friends' home that night, and we were supposed to bring the pizza. John drove to my house, picked me up, we drove to Pizza Hut, got the pizzas, then spent several hilarious hours with our friends. When we got back to my house late that night, it was raining very heavily. I had my family's garage door opener, and there was one bay of the garage not filled, so, we pulled his huge green bomb-of-a-car into the garage and sat with rear-end stuck out in the rain. A nice heavy rain. Within a few quiet moments, with me on the far side of the front seat, and he behind the steering wheel, he turned to me and said...

"If I had a ring, I'd ask you to marry me..."

I said, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A RING!"

Then, he quietly said, "Will you marry me?"

I knew I'd better respond quickly before he changed his mind.

"Yes! I'll marry you!" I said in a quiet but excited voice.

Then, he reached over and kissed me. Next, he said...

"Don't tell anyone".

So, that night, we kept our secret and I floated into my house wondering if I was in a dream.

The next day, I was floating on air... I did tell one friend the secret, but no one else knew.

That was at approximately midnight-thirty on MARCH 15, 1981!!!

So, the 15th of each of the first 3 months of that year were very significant!

The next Friday night, John and I went to his parents' home and told them of our engagement. They were NOT happy about it at all. They said it was nothing against me. They just knew it wasn't God's will for us.

John asked them what we could do to submit to them and what we could change. They had no comments and would not say anything else. It was a very strange and hard evening. After that, we told my parents and then the rest of the world we knew then.

We planned our wedding for May 30, the Memorial Day Weekend. He was teaching summer school, so this was the best time for him to take some days off. The wedding preparation days went quickly and we grew to love one another more and more. He still kept his distance, but I snuck a few kisses now and then. It grieved us both, but especially him, that his parents were not "for" the marriage. Here we were, both loving God so much, and trying to be honoring of them. But, they were just in a different world. We don't ever recommend others to go against their parents, but John was 29 years old, and I was 21. My parents blessed the union and our friends and church people also agreed. We had to go on. We wanted to go on. It was a type of individuation for John, who had always tried to please his parents and never go against anyone.

John was sick the whole week before the wedding. I think it was nerves. We had heard from his dad that his mom would not be attending the wedding. She had an excuse, but it broke his heart.

The day before the wedding, he helped me move my things into our new apartment, along side his...and we smiled at the thought that in less than a week we would return from our honeymoon to our own home. He had worked diligently on the music for our wedding.

Before we knew it, it was our wedding day! Bells in my heart rang loud and clear.
Here, we finally came to the day where I knew that I had caught him, and that he would be mine and I would be his forever after. We had a beautiful wedding ceremony, and had lots of friends and family all around us. We were both exhausted by the time the reception ended. We ran through the showers of rice (that ended up inside my undergarments) and ended up inside my dad's Cadillac. We had to step back out of the car, turn on the ac vents to let all the flour blow out (not into our faces) and wipe the Crisco off of the windshields before we could drive out. When we drove down the path away from the church, I found myself sitting way over on the passenger side with my right arm wedged against the door.

All of a sudden, I panicked! What was I DOING??? WHO WAS THIS OLD MAN I HAD JUST MARRIED? What have I done! Who WAS this man? Am I crazy!??? How could I just have gotten MARRIED???!!! The cans that were wired onto the back bumper helped camoflague my racing heart. What was I THINKING??? I didn't even KNOW this man!!!